


Masego and Indrani's Most Marvelous Adventure - Or Catherine's Big Giant No Good Headache

by Kingbob



Category: A Practical Guide to Evil - erraticerrata
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-11
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-08 04:03:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17379233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kingbob/pseuds/Kingbob
Summary: Indrani and Masego have an adventure





	Masego and Indrani's Most Marvelous Adventure - Or Catherine's Big Giant No Good Headache

It would be a cold day in hell before Indrani allowed herself to be dissuaded from shenanigans. Unfortunately, Masego knew about too many hells. No! Mistakes must be made, and adventure must be had! Anything else would be sacrilege, To lose out on such wonderful experiences would mean she would no longer be Archer. And that Indrani could not abide. It was time to take matters into her own hands.

 

\------

 

Indrani was talking to herself, but Masego knew she was listening. The 68th hell was particularly engaging topic for discussion, as it was the realm of romantic frustration and icy regret. This hell was a frozen landscape of corpses half buried in ice, reaching out for lovers just out of their grasp. It was an unusual hell, but that frosty hellscape reached even Catherine in the depths of her Madness. He wasn't quite sure why, but it was a fascinating study in Fae behaviors. She should have been far too deep into the Principal Alienation for such a tactic to work so consistently. Perhaps it was to do with Catherine's eternal quest to flagellate herself further...

 

"...sego. masego. ZEZE! I demand adventure! I need to kill something interesting or I'll lose my mind! Catherine is too busy making googly eyes at Vivi, now's the perfect time to escape."

 

Oh dear. Catherine is the only one who can stop Indrani when she gets into a mood like this. I fear for Catherine's sanity, but scrying her as we travel should hopefully mitigate the worst of her worries. Ideally, Catherine will be happy to have us about the continent and not in Callow with Indrani in such a mood.

 

"Lets go kill a Titan!"

 

...I have never been allowed to dissect a Titan before, the political situation was what Uncle Amadeous called "delicate". Catherine hardly seems to care about delicacy, all the Hells know what a brute she can be. It will be quite informative on the nature of their spellsingers if a live specimen can be obtained. Father will wish to see my notes on their prefrontal cortex I'm sure.

 

Scrying can wait.

 

\------

 

"Masego, what possible reason could you have to go traipsing off to the Titanomachy? Indrani makes sense - if she's not causing me headaches she isn't living - but I need you and Indrani here, not running off causing international incidents!" Catherine was more upset about our disappearance than I had predicted. She had even found and coerced Mbafeno into scrying for us, which was both a step more and a step less than what I had expected. Honestly, I had expected her to disappear into Arcadia within a week of our disappearance, dragging Hakram and Vivienne along to find us. That she hadn't done so implied that either she was far busier than either myself or Indrani had realized, or she had finally developed a speck of restraint. The probabilities of the latter hardly bore calculating they were so minuscule.

"Cat its fine! We only caused like, one plague and three orgies! I'm honestly disappointed in myself, I'm out of practice." The anger on Catherine's face dissolved into resignation faster than expected, which must have meant it was an anger born of worry instead of true offense. Must take a note of this so that I can confirm it with Indrani later, and perhaps Hakram when we get back. They understand Catherine in ways that I simply do not, despite how often I've examined and worked on her soul. Now, to reassure Catherine that it was merely a trip of research and study.

"Catherine, I accompanied Indrani primarily because I didn't think I could stop her without hurting her irreparably, and more importantly I've discovered fascinating information about how a Titan becomes a Spellsinger! I believe that-"

"Masego, did you and Indrani kill a Titan? Because I don't have the first idea how I could ever get them to the diplomacy table if one of you have killed a Titan in a fit of curiosity."

"Ah, well the soul is still available in most of its constituent pieces and with just a little more time I believe I can repair the worst of the damage to the body, surely enough to get him standing again. Indrani got bored while I was working and created more damage than we had originally inflicted on him."

"Masego, for the love of all things unholy, put the Titan back together as perfectly as possible and _PLEASE_  come home. Tracking you down halfway across the continent is not something I have time for right now, but I will do it if I must. And then everyone is going to be very upset about the trail of frozen corpses I leave behind while I drag the pair of you home."

"We are only a third of the continent away at best, given that the Wasteland takes up nearly a fifth of the space of the continent itself. We are simply on the wrong side of the continent to be even half of the total distance from you."

"...If I don't hear word that the pair of you are heading back by the end of the month, I'll restrict your access to your mage tower until I think you've learned your lesson. Indrani, I know you're still listening to me. I'll have Vivienne steal all your booze for a year unless you arrive in Callow with Masego. Keep the murder to a minimum, I'm already set back at least six months with what you've given me so far. See you both soon, or else."

 

\------

 

It had been longer than was perhaps wise to be away from Catherine and Callow, but what was done was done. Indrani was walking besides me as we made the approach into Callow proper, just in case Catherine felt compelled to follow the letter of her threat against Indrani's stash of alcohol. Crossing the majority of Levant without causing a scene had been difficult, but Indrani had restricted herself to merely goading townspeople and teasing. I had only had to kill six men myself during our travels, because Indrani had gotten bored of a group of bandits partway through their attempt to rob us on the road. Vaporizing the bodies was quite effective as a cleaning method, and the quiet was very appreciated after listening to all their screaming for mercy.

As we approached the border, a trio of figures on the road became visible. At first there might have been a chance it was merely another group of travelers, but the snow that was building up in ever increasing drifts put that thought to rest quite thoroughly.

I have missed Catherine and Hakram and Vivienne. Perhaps next time I will try to persuade Indrani to look for a hunt closer to home.

 

\------

 

Oh boy, Cat's got her strangle face on. I wonder if I can get past her into Callow before she can grab me. Maybe if I'm lucky Hakram left me some of my booze, and I can get proper drunk before Cat starts giving me shit. 

Run, run, ruuuuuun!

Darn.


End file.
